You are trying to educate an old fisherman, who used to be so lonely, when he got tired of buggering the cabin boy, he would think manatee were mermaids. Way back when he sailed with Chris Columbus.
That reminded me of an old song I'm sure Ben must know
Minus a few verses. Them Brits are long-windedThe Good Ship Venus
There's frigging on the rigging;
Wanking on the planking,
Tossing on the crossing,
There was fuck all else to do.
Twas on the good ship Venus,
By God you should have seen us,
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast the Captain's penis.
The captain of this lugger,
He was a dirty bugger,
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one place to another.
The captain's wife was Mabel.
Whenever she was able,
She'd fornicate the second mate
Upon the galley table.
The ship's cook's name was Freeman,
My God was he a demon,
He fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen.
The captain had a daughter,
Who fell into the water,
We heard her squeal and knew an eel
Had found her sexual quarter.
The cabin boy was Kipper,
A dirty little nipper,
We stuffed his arse with broken glass
To circumcise the skipper.
The boatswain's name was Lester,
He was a hymen tester.
Thru hymens thick he stuck his prick
And left it there to fester.
Another one was Cropper,
Oh Christ he had a whopper.
Twice round the deck, around his neck
And up his bum for a stopper.
The ship's dog's name was Rover,
The whole crew had him over,
We ground that faithful hound
From Singapore to Dover.
So now we end this serial,
Through sheer lack of material.
I wish you luck and freedom from