way back when blue skies was just a boy living at home, his mom was in his room cleaning. she found a magazine under his bed titled: S&M.

the mom sat down with his father and asked "what should i do about this?"

blue's dad sipped his coffee, scratched his chin and replied, "whatever you do i don't think you should spank him."

^^ hehehe

lol That sounds just like my dad.

BEING A FARMER IS TOUGH !


A farmer was selling his peaches door to door.


He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door.
He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"

He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.

Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"

The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye.

Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"

He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.

She asked, "Why on earth are you crying?"

Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, ...


... And now I think I'm gonna get fucked out of my peaches."

LOL. Funny. That’s a good one.

I got one. Here’s the short version…

A woman asks her fiancée to tattoo her name on his schlong as a wedding present. The dude had to get erect and barely fit "Wendy" on it; when he shrunk-up all you could see was "Wy".

On the honeymoon in Jamaica, they’re lying on the hot beach and the dude decides to go to the beach cabana to cool-off with a shower. In the shower, the dude says to the Jamaican next to him, "I couldn’t help but notice you have 'W Y' tattooed on you schlong like me. Is your girlfriend named Wendy too?" The Jamaican laughed, "Oh no mon, it say, 'Welcome to Jamaica ma'am and have a nice day.'"

i hate double standards. when a girl sleeps with a bunch of different men, she's called a slut. when a guy does it, he's called homosexual.

i didn't know where else to put this.

a guy walks into his doctor's office complaining of penis pain.

the doctor inpects the penis and says, "your penis has syphillis."

the guy says, "i want second opinion."

the doctor says, "it's small too."

Holy shyte, Centipedes in vaginas? Never heard that. They won't crawl in my mouth, will they?