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Let me tell you a story

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Here is a little story from back in the middle 80’s when I was in the UK. I was growing outside then, in grow bags 12 plants in my back yard, and another 60+, 90 minutes away on a lovely south facing 30ft high bank, about 80yds long in sandy soil. In the UK you never get to bud time as its to cold by the time they would be half way through budding so you just smoked the leaves.

Well after a good harvest I had about 4k of dried leaves for personal use lol. So one evening I am in the pub and I over hear a couple of guys talking about making edibles. I had never heard of this, as the internet was not invented then.

So the next day I made cake, your general betty crocker chocolate 8”sponge cake. I mixed up the ingredients and then stuck 6 ozs of grass in the blender and turned it to dust and added it to the cake mix lol. Well the cake mix went a horrible muddy green color. I thought, well Ill just cook it up and see what happens. The cake came out and looked worse than when it went in, so I let it cool and put it in the fridge. Fast forward 2 days and its Saturday morning, I wake up 9am with the girl friend, she says, we are going to her friends BBQ at 12 so I suggest cake for breakfast, and go and cut a couple of slices and make a cup of tea. These slices were 4 inches long and about ½ - ¾ inches thick at the wide end of the wedge. We eat the cake and drink the tea, and then have sex for about 45 minutes, then I went for a shower. Halfway through my shower, I start to get butterflies in my stomach, feeling like, I am coming up on acid and I thought, not good, and went and chugged down a liter of orange juice, to calm it down a bit. Go back to the bedroom and get dressed while the girlfriends getting her shower. I forget to mention to her about the feeling of coming up on acid, which she had never done. At the time I was doing a lot of martial arts and weight lifting and was burning through about 5000 calories a day, so my metabolism is working fairly fast, which explains the delay in her not experiencing anything yet. We jump in the car and head off to the BBQ, we are about 15 minutes down the road and I looked at her and she was white as a ghost, clutching the sides of her seat with all her strength. I said, are you OK, she looks at me and says stop the car, the lamp posts are bending over, we are going to hit them, so I said OK I think you need to go home, she then says, Your turning into a Were Wolf, why are you turning into Were Wolf with blood coming out of your mouth. I said, your hallucinating because of the cake, don’t panic, I am taking you home. I carried her into the house and put her to bed, she slept for about 24 hours lol.


It gets better  :)

Fast forward another week, we are going to see some more friends and staying the night, I will take the cake, I thought, put it in my bag on a plate with surround wrap all over it.

We pull up outside the house, and the front door to the house is open, so we walk in, the dining room is on the right, so I take the cake out of the bag and put it on the table. It’s a nice room expensive leather furniture, antique teddy bears and china dolls everywhere. We hear a shout from upstairs saying, were just ready, going down the pub for lunch, OK. They appear and we all head down the pub on foot, as its just round the corner. After about 3 hours and about 6 pints, we head back to the house and I am thinking, a good time for cake. We open the door and walk in, the house has been wrecked, there is shit, puke and piss all over the floor. The expensive furniture has been shredded as well as the antique teddy bears and dolls worth about 12,000$.

Unbeknownst to me, they were looking after a relatives 2 Doberman Pinchers, who obviously ate my cake and went on a hallucinogenic, primeval hunting spree, tearing up the place and vomiting, shitting and puking everywhere, before collapsing into a semi unconscious state. I never said anything about the cake, thought it best to stay quiet, so we left and went home at their suggestion, while they cleaned up the house. That was the last time I made marijuana cake.

Edited by Shadey

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Heres another one.

A friend, my 2 brothers and I are going to a party we had been drinking and smoking all afternoon and were very out of it. We pull up outside and disembark. I am wearing LM52 US jungle combat trousers, big baggy things, as my thighs were 32 inches and I could not get jeans to fit, being 280lbs in good condition, it was a struggle finding anything to fit lol. As I get out of the car I can here a hissing noise, and say to my friend, I think you have a puncture, and we start looking at the tire. Then I feel my right thigh going really cold. At this time I was doing close protection bodyguard work and bouncing in night clubs. These LM52’s have big baggy side pockets that go almost to the knee, I forgot I had a can of mace in my side pocket and when I got out of the car I must have punctured it some how, by now I was coughing my guts up and my eyes were burning bad, trying to get this can of mace out of my pocket, while my friend and brothers stood about 20 feet away laughing. They could not get any closer without suffering the same effect so they left me on the side walk and went into the party lol.

About 20 minutes later, they came back out, I still could not see or breath well so they carried me into the house and dumped me on the floor in a corner. 15 minutes later and people were running out the house their eyes burning and coughing their lungs up, I cleared the whole house in 20 minutes lmao. That was the last time I carried mace in my pocket.

Edited by Shadey

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Another one, this will crack you all up.


My brother and I were going down to Torquay in Devon in the late 80s. We were going to a body Building Competition supporting my training buddy who was entering a qualifier for Mr Britain, Light heavy weight, he should have been heavy weight but dropped to much size cutting up.

We arrived at 11 am to watch the prelims and give my buddy some support. Standard practice for a competition was to each take, 12 large joints pre rolled, a box of wine, de boxed, and half an acid tab for the evening show. Buy the time we got to around 3 pm we were really fucked up. My buddy was not due on until about 8pm so we went and got fish and chips and had a snooze in the car for a couple of hours then had a smoke and did the acid so we would be starting to come up for the start of the show @ 6pm.

Show was good my buddy got second place which meant he had to do another qualifier later, he eventually went on to win light heavy weight Mr Britain, in Coventry.

So the show was over, and we headed home about 10.30, grabbing some fish and chips on the way. We were not in a very good state and got a bit lost coming out of Torquay, and headed down the coast rd, instead of the highway. When we got to Maidencombe we cut across country to pick up the highway, it was raining a bit, and was very dark with no street lights and only a few houses dotted about. The countryside is scrubby marsh land, called a moor in the UK, after about 10 minutes driving through this moorland I see about 50 yds ahead, red eye shine, on and off. Now in the UK no animal has red eye shine, which was very confusing, so as we are getting closer I am saying, its a, its a, its a, ITS A FUCKING  KANGAROO !!!

I say to my brother, did you see that fucking Kangaroo, he said, no, your hallucinating bro, I said, I am not, its a fucking Kangaroo, stop the car and reverse back. So he stops, and reverses back and I say, there it is stop. I said, there a fucking Kangaroo... he said there's nothing there your hallucinating. I was like, you got to be joking me man, he said, get out and go and grab it, if its really there. So I get out jump over a ditch towards this Kangaroo which had its head down eating about 6 feet away, I took another step and BAM the kangaroo hoped up and drop kicked me right in the solar plexus and knocked me in the filthy ditch. I get out of the ditch covered in mud and slimy water stinking like crap. My brother was in hysterics, when he finished laughing he said, I didn't think you would fall for that. I said, you did see the fucking kangaroo, you bastard. He said yes I couldn't believe it myself, thought we were having the same hallucination. I had to strip off to my boxers, all the way home for 2 hours before I could get a shower.

When the internet was invented, I investigated the kangaroo phenomena in Devon and found out that during the second world war, a German bomber plane was badly hit and it dumped its bombs near Torquay, before crashing into the sea. One of the bombs hit Torquay zoo, and all the kangaroos and wallabies escaped and have now set up a breeding colony around the area.

That was the last time I tried to catch a Kangaroo.

Edited by Shadey

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