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Post your Experience here about Urine Testing Kits


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125 replies to this topic

#1 Marc Scott Emery

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Posted 19 April 2006 - 07:46 PM

In North America, millions of pot smokers find themselves being tested for their use of marijuana in order to get employment, stay out on parole, bail, and other onerous demands of the modern police state.

Please tell us your story about how you beat the urine tests and how the products you bought or techniques employed worked.

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#2 stinkweed

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Posted 19 April 2006 - 08:27 PM

i used a product i bought at gnc, and lost my job!!! i called the number on the bottle to discuss what may have happened, and one of the replies i got from the person on the other end of the line was something like, "well, you're trying to mask an illegal substance anyway, and if you don't like our products, don't use them."

after i lost that job, i applied for another, that did pre-testing. i used somebody else's clean urine in a condom, held inside (ewww, right? ). the bitch about holding it inside is, with every step you take, you can feel it bouncing up and down inside you. you feel like, with every step, that the thing is gonna slide right out of ya. so i had to take real smooth, small steps, while keeping my muscles tight to keep this from happening. and of course, i know "the secret", so i'm trying to keep my self from giggling about it, because that will push the sucker out too. anyway, after waiting 15 minutes for my turn, at least half of which was done standing in the office(cause there were at least 12 other people there taking tests too, and about 5 seats ). anyway, once in the bathroom, i popped that sucker out, used a little 1 inch pocket knife to poke a hole in it, drained it into the cup........then had to put the pissy, wet condom back in my pocket (can't leave the evidence behind).

a nightmare, yes. i got the job, and it payed well, so it was worth the bs at the time, but i certainly wouldn't go through that again.

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#3 melloweedman

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Posted 21 April 2006 - 05:10 PM

I can tell you what doesn't work. I had an hour notice that I was being tested; before my lunch break. I always carry a gallon of partially frozen water in my lunch box because I worked in the heat. I chugged water my whole lunch break and I think I drank over half a gallon. I urinated a couple times during lunch and then went to the health clinic. My sample was as clear as spring water and I thought that's the best I can do; mission accomplished. A few days later I was informed that I was positive for marajuuwana. I had to be fired so I told my boss there must be something wrong with the test because I hardly ever smoke(huge white lie). Since I was his best employee and he hated to get rid of me, they let me take another test. I bought some expensive stuff from GNC, followed the directions, took the test the next day and still turned out positive. SCREW DRUG TESTS AND THAT EXPENSIVE SHIT THAT DOESN'T WORK.

It's getting so you can't get any decent job without passing a drug test. They want to know every type of medication that you are taking before making a hiring decision so they can screen unhealthy people from the payrolls. It's probably the insurance companies that are forcing companies to do this. I'm fortunate to be self employed now but it looks like potheads are going to be discriminated against more than ever. I think the Wizzeanator would be the hot ticket if you can give the sample in private.

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#4 Guest__*

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Posted 22 April 2006 - 04:27 PM

I have had to use a whizzinator, (or stuntcock as my friends and I call it), as a countermeasure for an observed test.

I felt like I was practicing for a magic show. And despite all the preparation, the stagefright didn't hit me until I walked out on stage. Yet, in the end, the stuntcock proved faster than the eye.

The actor Tom Sizemore got caught with a stuntcock. However, it became obvious to his probation officers he was on meth, yet still passing, so they suspected he was cheating. Plus, they were testing him all the time, and he was stuntcocking it all the time; eventually, his number came up.

Thankfully, with me, tests are very rare, but I feel prepared.

I've also tried flushing and buying home test kits. Flushing only works if you are a sporadic smoker and quit for a couple weeks.

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#5 Paco

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Posted 23 April 2006 - 04:58 PM

I'll give the details in a day or two. I'm switching professions--from teaching to trucking--so I had to take a urine test. First I waited about six weeks from last smoke, then I pretested myself with one of these simple home text kits--came up negative for thc. Took the formal text five days ago (three working days). Should have the results by tomorrow or tuesday. Will I pass? Sure as hell ought to. If I don't I would say don't trust the home tests.

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#6 melloweedman

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Posted 23 April 2006 - 05:30 PM

"six weeks from last smoke", that's cheating. You should pass. For some of us, not smoking is not an option. Did they observe you closely during the test?

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Peace from an old time 70's smoker


#7 Paco

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Posted 24 April 2006 - 04:30 AM

No, no one watched me pee. I went into a separate head and filled the vial for them. The test was on a Tuesday afternoon. Then it goes off to a lab in Kansas. I assume they receive a lot of pee to test so I should have the results by today or tomorrow. I'm supposed to start training for my CDL on Wednesday, and since the test was set up by the driving school, I assume they know it'll take about five working days for the results to come through.

Before I took the test I read everything on line that I could about testing and the length of time that thc can be found in the body. Seemed to me that if I wanted to simply play it safe I could have waited a full three months, but the home test kits ($3.00) were a cheap way to check. They claim to be 99% accurate. We shall see!

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#8 Paco

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Posted 24 April 2006 - 12:25 PM

Well, looks like I passed. Called the trucking school and they have me penciled in to start on Wednesday. Good bye smoke for the next two years--at least! The moral, if there is one at all, stall for time before getting tested. If you're liable for random testing, you're playing with fire. And you'll probably get burned. Change jobs if you can or start making plans to do so. Buy some of those home thc test kits so you can check yourself before you go in for the real thing. I personally wouldn't trust those body cleanse products. They're expensive and there's no way of knowing whether they're going to work.

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#9 teeitup63

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Posted 24 April 2006 - 03:39 PM

I have used home test kits to see how long it takes for my body to clean itself. I found the kits to be very accurate.
When I smoked recreationally I could clean out in 10 days by drinking lots of water and sweating.

I had a few puffs of BC shake on a Monday night and was involved in a work accident on Friday. Tested on Saturday in Richmond hospital. Luckily I tested clean because my workers compensation can be denied for positive test.

I had been hooked up to an IV for 24 hours prior to the test and had a catheder also.

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#10 Paco

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Posted 24 April 2006 - 04:21 PM

How do you define "recreationally?" I was smoking a little every day. By "a little" I mean putting some (about two pinches) in a small pipe and smoking it for most of the day. About a hit at a time. Personally, I think of myself as a lightweight, but maybe I'm a chronic. Growing your own can do that to you.

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#11 teeitup63

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Posted 25 April 2006 - 02:17 PM

Recreational to me was take a few hits over a long weekend. I might consume 1-2 joints while out on holiday.

I am presently a mild chronic, it would take me a few weeks to flush.

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#12 lazarus

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Posted 29 April 2006 - 10:33 AM

I've had 100% success with the urinator. I've used it 8 times and it's never failed. One time however, the collector mentioned how the sample was a neon yellow - but that's the only time the color was off. I had been using Dr. John's famous pee-pee. Currently I am no longer toking - my place of employment has implemented random testing and I don't want to bother with the stress of relying on anything. I've been an on-and-off toker for years and years and I've never had a problem just shelving toking for other days.

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#13 Dj Dollar Bill

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Posted 29 April 2006 - 02:06 PM

Quote:

but the home test kits ($3.00) were a cheap way to check. They claim to be 99% accurate. We shall see!




3 bux a kit ??? Were they the pregnancy test stip type ? And how can I get some ?

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#14 Paco

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Posted 29 April 2006 - 03:34 PM

These are the kind with a little piece of litmus paper. Drop in about four drops of urine, wait five minutes and viola! I don't know if they're anything like pregnancy kits. I'm a 53 year old guy and preganacy hasn't been a major concern.

You can get them at:

http://www.homedrugtestingkit.com/

They have kits that test for more than one substance. The ones I'm referring to test only for THC, but even the five substance kit is only $7.00. Seems like a good thing to have if you're subject to testing.



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#15 Anthony

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Posted 14 May 2006 - 10:08 AM

I took my first drug test a couple of years ago after I applied for job at a summer camp. Colorado has a law mandating potential counselors to take the drug test.

I wanted the summer camp job to meet the internship requirement for my Bachelors degree. I quit smoking cannabis about 2 to 3 weeks before the drug test. I drank the Test Clear bottle prior the test. I passed the test.

I took the second drug test. I stopped smoking cannabis about two weeks prior the test. It was very hard for me to abstain from cannabis because my friends and roommmates were heavy smokers. I must have second-inhaled some of the smokes. Also I decided not to use the Test Clear bottle because I was assurred that I would pass the test. However, about 5 days before the drug test, a friend of mine stopped over and she wanted to smoke. So I got tempted enough to take two good hits.

A few years later, I took my second test. After I took my second drug test, I failed it by 2 ng/ml. In order to pass the drug test for cannabis, I must be under 15 ng/ml.

The Pee Doctor called and told me that I failed the test because my reading was 17 ng/ml. He asked me to stop in the office for some questions. So I went to his office. He asked me why did I fail the test, I told him that I attended a drum circle party for my cousin's birthday (okay - a white lie here) and I drummed with the group while they were passing the blunt.

The Pee Doctor asked me, "Did you know that you can still fail the drug test for second inhaling the marijuana smoke?"

(I corrected the Pee Doctor several times, "Please call it cannabis, not marijuana. Your a doctor.")

I acted dumb as I replied, "No I did not know that!! I thought that it wouldn't be enough to fail the drug test."

The Pee Doctor explained to me how people failed drug tests because of second-inhaling the cannabis smoke.

Then I told the Pee Doctor that I believe cannabis should be legalized for medical and responsible recreational use because no one should be drug tested for cannabis.

The Pee Doctor confessed that his wife died from breast cancer and she was using the Marinol pills. Then I confessed the doctor that my girlfriend, the mother of my son, passed away from Leukemia.

I asked the Pee Doctor if he believes cannabis should be legalized and he answered, "Yes, it should be legalized for medical use."

So, after I asked the Pee Doctor about failing the drug test, he said that his hands were tied and that there were nothing he could do. He could not tamper the result. It was up to the Employer to hire me or not.

After I left the office, I vowed not to take the drug test ever again! I will not take the drug test for a job. I will become self-employed if I have to.

I do not believe in drug tests for cannabis users. It is like walking into a torture room. The Pee Doctor instructed me to put on a pair of gloves, handle my pee cup by putting the cap on, the lable on, writing my name on the lable and the consent form... and so on.

It was a sickening experience....

I encourage everyone to boycott drug tests!!! Be a brave civilian and say no to drug test... although you may not or never use drugs!

PROTECT YOUR CIVIL LIBERTIES AND CIVIL PRIVACIES!

SAY NO TO THE DRUG TEST INDUSTRY!!

and say,

"I AM NOT YOUR LAB RAT!!"



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#16 strmryder

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Posted 16 May 2006 - 11:51 AM

I've been on probation a couple of times. The whizzinator has been flawless, but so many people know about this now I suspect it will become useless.

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#17 maha

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Posted 17 May 2006 - 11:27 AM

I think i will get a little dizzy to tell this story:

...



A few weeks ago, my husband and i decided to see if we could get any Life Insurance. 'If', because it was by no means a slam dunk.

I will be 48 this year, in good health, but i smoke pot. My husband, is 40, smokes probably more than a pack of cigarettes a day (sometimes two on a night out), drinks (Scotch is his poison), and is at least 60 lbs overweight -- oh, and did i mention that everyone on his father's side dropped dead from a heart attack by 55?

Genetically, i fare better, and both my aging parents are actually being studied by the Jewish General because their health (they are now in their mid seventies) is uncommonly excellent.

But, i smoke pot. i have smoked pot since i was 13 quite regularly, save for my pregnant and nursing years, and a couple of years of abstinance in my thirties.

the truth be told i have probably tried every drug out there at least once except for crack, methamphetamine, and heroin. 'tried' being the operative word.

Anyway. The insurance rep comes to the house. He is in his late twenties. All fresh and squeaky-clean-like.

He goes through the questionaire with hubby. at this point i am going over things in my head -- i've been through this once before during a 'clean' time and these questions didn't really phase me then ... but they were far more detailed and invasive now.

He asks hubby about smoking cigarettes. (We already know that they will cover you if you smoke tobacco, you just need to pay more)

He asks how much? A pack a day.

then he asks about marijuana ... my husband seldom smokes, and i mean seldom. but he tells the rep that he has when he was younger. the rep actually giggles. then we move on to the harder drugs (he has a penchant for pharmies, but leaves this out), and he says again, maybe when he was younger ... much younger.

the rep spent a LOT of time on the drugs, before getting to alcohol and 'spirits' which he pretty much just breezed through, even though my husband drinks a fair bit of Scotch.

yada, yada ... the health stuff, family history, then it's my turn.

Do you smoke tobacco?

Yes.

How many cigarettes do you smoke day?

Seven.



i have already decided to tell him i smoke pot. i have no intention, at 48 and in good health, to even pretend to be something i am not. And there was no way i was going to quit for a month, or whatever -- out of the question! And i am too lazy to fiddle with Whizzinators or pills that may or may not work. I have already figured that whether i tell him i smoke daily or weekly doesn't really matter. when they do the text it is for sure going to show up whether i smoked two weeks ago, or yesterday.

Do you now, or have you ever smoked marijuana?

Yes.

he looks very uncomfortable ... kinda' squirmy.

(i'm feeling a little defiant -- and i haven't had a toke all day).

When was the last time you smoked?

Last week, i say.

How long have you been 'using'?

All my life. Is there a problem, or is this a morality thing?

now he's really uncomfortable

well, he says, it indicates a predilection for drugs ...

i don't do hard drugs.

now he is beet red

Is this going to be an issue? i repeat. and what about Med-Pot users, do you not insure them?

Hubby pipes up and says that probably someone who was a Med Pot user would be uninsurable because of their health anyway ...

Why? They insure people who use prescription drugs, don't they?

Yes they do, says squirmybeetredboy, that's a good question, i'll get back to you on that.

Then we move on to the other stuff.

Then, he takes a swab from inside our mouths.

What the hell for? i ask. to test for tobacco substances, he says ... and both of us say that we have already told him we smoked so no need for the DNA swab. it's routine he says, so we submit. wtf.

Then when everything is signed, and signed again, he tells us that a nurse will come to the house to do the urine and the blood tests. They test for everything.

(Am i boring you guys to tears yet?)

The nurse comes. she is in her early fifties. jittery. she doesn't like my 'hippy' house.

We go through everything again ... in even greater detail. She even asked about cigars -- which i do enjoy with a nice glass of port at Christmas time. and again, i had the advantage of going second.

We get to Marijuana -- which she insisted on calling Mary-jew-ana.

I say, yes, i smoke pot, i have smoked pot since i was thirteen -- regularly.

My husband bristles at my tone, and i react and say, she doesn't care, she is just doing her job, and she says yes, she doesn't care, but she never looks at me again for the duration of the exam. Then she asks about 'Hash-ish', and i tell her it's pretty much the same thing, but i seldom smoke that because it's harder to get. she can't even look at me and has me fill out the rest of the form by myself

we do the pee test. and both pass with flying colors, but they are testing for nitrates, blood, sugar, that kind of thing. then the blood test -- two vials yuk.

once everything is signed and signed again, and packaged up she then tells us that it will be a week or so, because it's going to a lab in the states. we both freak. we knew nothing of this. why the states? she says that there is not ONE insurance clinic in all of Canada. !!

as she scurries out the door, neither of us figure the odds are good.

until yesterday. i received, in the mail, notice that the funds for the insurance for ME would be coming out of the account -- i was approved. and very shocked.

we are still waiting on hubby's ... we figure he will just have to pay more. but we'll see.

anyway, i hope this helps someone who may be considering applying for life insurance but who may be concerned about the pot smoking aspect. It would seem that if you are in good health, and tell them you smoke pot moderately, it doesn't have to be an issue.









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#18 divadab

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Posted 20 May 2006 - 04:22 PM

Was it a Canadian insurance company? Can you say which one?

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#19 maha

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Posted 20 May 2006 - 04:43 PM

why not ...

http://www.clarica.com/e/index.asp

it's a subsidiary of Sunlife.

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"In wise hands poison is medicine. In foolish hands medicine is poison."
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#20 PuRpl3 H4z3

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Posted 23 May 2006 - 12:10 PM

The pills you by at GNC definately do not work over night. I think they have this one detox you can take that you take one pill at night and one in the morning and in three days it should be out of your system. Someone told me they tested negative drinking 6 20oz. gatorades for three days. I however took six cranberry pills a day and drank a shit load of water and I drank alot of cranberry juice. I was pissing like every 30 minutes. It was out of my system in a full week.If you workout and sweat alot it also really helps because it goes out your sweat glands.

Aything your using to clean your system drink aloooott of water or cranberry juice(I just cant stress that enough)if you want to pass your drug test.

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